Two climbers rope up at the base of a cliff. Each tends to his own gear, making sure that he has what he needs, or what he thinks he will need, in the adventure to follow. Each carries his own share of the food water, emergency gear that they might need, plus the one or two items that always stay with him. For each climber this item is different. For some it is practical, say a knife or piece of line, or sweater. For others it is symbolic as in a picture of somebody, or a trinket or token. For some it is both symbolic and potentially functional, say an energy bar that tastes so bad it will always be at the bottom of the backpack and thus will stave off starvation, or a carabiner that is so old and worn as to be of questionable integrity so it is never used but is always there just in case.
Each is familiar with the route and each has his own concerns over certain sections, though not necessarily the same sections. They will "rope up", or be tied together on the climb but each will do the work needed to get himself and his share of the load up the wall. It isn't expected that one could or would carry the weight of the other to the top. In that case neither would reach their goal.
The climb is it's own subject and we each experience it in our own way. That is not our concern. It is the bivys, or rests along the way when the climbers stop for a time, or the night. It is during these times when the true relationship of the two climbers can be fortifying or destructive to the rest of challenge lying ahead. While sharing a cup of tea or preparing a meal, and maybe taking stock of gear and position, the conversation that is had between the two can either be about the climb itself, or some other interesting topic that takes them far away from their tenuous station and situation for the moment.
If the conversation is about the climb it can usually be classified in two ways. First, it can be reflective and a statement or explanation of the experience. This is usually a sharing of the extreme points and can be an affirmation of the uniqueness of the place and time. This can sound like a step by step and mechanical re-accounting of the event or it can be more experiential or impressionistic.
The second type of conversation that can occur is often accusatory and critical. This comes in the form of one climber blaming the other for any number of things like holding up the speed, loosing the route, placing to much gear on the route or not doing the route the way he thinks it could be done best. It can even be about the route itself, the climb, the mountain, country or the state of climbing in general.
After the climb the same options of conversation are available once on the peak, back at the pub, or when relating the event to others. The highlights can either be about dangerous and frightening situations, or about the good fortune, good weather, and fine route that was had.
It is sometimes challenging not to focus on the negative. When relating events to those who have no real experience of something to draw from, it often seems easier to "relate" to them by focusing on the negative or frightening or unpleasant, rather than the extreme exalted state of bliss that can only be had by the actual experience of it. We all have experiences pleasant and unpleasant so it seems odd to think one easier to relate to than another.
I have found the best company to be in is the company of those who can speak of the joys of life rather than the epic near misses or the true tragedies. The very best company to be in is the company of those who feel the need to say very little, because little need be said, understanding is in common. A word or a reference can be enough to get all looking in the same direction, thinking of the same thing. When this is not possible I prefer no company at all over hearing of the horrors of experience. Living them once is often more than enough, no need to relive them in the retelling.
I find myself not always being the best company, by this definition. I am not sure if it is my outlook or that I have so few around me that seem to have the shared view of what is truly great about life.
Life is lived alone. We may be in the company of others but our life is ours alone. At those sustaining moments, when we get to have community with others I feel much more inspired to live a good and full life if those moments of sharing are happy and celebratory. Those moments with others, sharing a meal, a cup of coffee, listening to music or dancing, preparing food, or what ever, they make me glad to be a part of the human family. They take on a totally different feeling and have a totally different affect on me if they are filled with complaints and frustrations and anger.
The idea of venting on others seems destructive and selfish. It seems down right dumb when you consider that after a venting session I might feel less likely to explode, but not near happy, so the fortune of having another person to listen and share with came no where near it's real potential to being communion.
So I guess I can be the blokes sitting at the bar, drunk, unhappy and alone in a crowd, griping about the world, or, I can be the one of the guys sitting in with the band in the corner trying to connect musically and create something celebratory, working hard and with a smile on my face, thirstily quaffing down a pint between songs, but not having so many as to limit my ability to contribute to the chosen tune.
